Thanksgiving

Alright, Thanksgiving was a while ago, but I haven't gotten around to writing about it. At the last minute, well, a week before last minute, I decided to take my sister up on her offer to go down to Knoxville for Thanksgiving.

Melanie picked me up at the airport with her two daughters. Veronica was being rather standoffish as usual, but Heidi didn't seem to mind it when I carried her. On the drive back from the airport, I learned the Veronica loves "Veronica" by Elvis Costello. I'd hear from the backseat "Veronica song on" over and over until my sister would flip back to it. Also, while my niece might greet my "Hellos" with "No", she would take french fries from me. Speaking of food, I also learned my niece is just as fond of peanut-butter as I am.

Thanksgiving day we went to the home of some of Melanie's friends from church. Melanie and I had picked up a turkey and the plan was to fry it when we got there. Meanwhile, a second turkey was getting smoked. The frying turned out to be a non-starter. The first tank of propane emptied before the oil got hot. We got a second tank, and tried again, but the burner wasn't going full blast like it should. After half an hour or more, the oil was barely over 100 degrees. Eventually we gave up and decided to smoke the second turkey as well, but not until after we had the first one.

It ended up being a late lunch timewise, but delicious. I really enjoyed the smoked turkey, but was sad that I didn't get to try the fried turkey, since I've heard it's delicious.

While Thanksgiving was nice, what was really nice was getting my niece to like me, at least temporarily. I resorted to an electronic bribe. Melanie had told me that one of her friends had downloaded a song to play which amused Veronica. So I went to the App store and download a couple of games for Veronica to play on my phone.

The game is pretty simple, fitting for a two year old. Basically there are large rectangles covering a picture. The simple version, you just touch the square and it goes away. The next most advanced level has a little flower on one of the rectangles indicating that that one has to be pushed first. The third level has dots on the rectangles like dice, and the fourth level has actual numbers. The version with the dots was hit or miss with Veronica, so we mostly played the one with the flowers.

Once Veronica saw that I had a game on my phone she came right over. It took a bit of explaining but she figured it out pretty quickly. The funny thing was that after about five minutes of playing, she got tired of pushing the rectangles herself. So she would grab my finger and use my finger to press the button instead. All told it probably kept her amused for half an hour or so.

Later Veronica came over to me and put her hand in my pocket. "Phone Game" she said. So I pulled out my phone and let her play for a while. Then she'd get bored and wander away. This kept up for a while, with Veronica coming over and saying "Phone Game" and I would load it up for her.

Of course, right after she was done playing, she didn't like me much. But I figured out how to make it more fun for her, a second level bribe. Whenever she would push the correct square, the phone would make a faint click sound. So I started saying "Click" when she pushed it. She found this very amusing. She even started saying click as well.

There was also a faint buzzer sound when she would push the wrong rectangle, so I started saying "RNNNT" when she would push the wrong rectangle. She enjoyed the buzzing so much that she would intentionally press the wrong one just to hear me buzz. She would go through all of the show rectangles (except the one she was supposed to push). This would leave her with a fierce case of the giggles. Perhaps the first time I've heard her giggle.

Anyway, the e-bribe worked well enough that she would actually sit on my lap. When we were done playing the game, she even let me read her a couple of books. Although her idea of reading Winnie the Pooh was turning the page when I was only a paragraph or two through. Melanie was quite amused by the "madlibs" like resulting story.

Of course, the good-will I had garnered wore off over night. She wasn't as standoffish as she had been, but she wouldn't let me read her a book. It was also the day I was leaving, so I didn't have a chance to rebribe her sufficiently. At least now I know how to win the heart of a two year old.

Dented Car

Today I pulled a dent out of the hood of my car. I ordered a suction cup type dent puller online and it got in on Friday. So this morning I went out to my car, wiped the dent clean and then applied the suction cup. It took surprisingly little force before I heard the dent pop back out. The fix isn't perfect, there is some residual waviness, but it is not very noticeable, especially compared to the dent.

So how did the dent get into my hood? Well, that story is much longer and started last weekend. I was driving to the grocery store, planning to stop for breakfast on the way. I was stopped at a light when I saw three men off to my right. They were on the island between the straight lanes and the lane that turns right.

I'm not sure exactly what was going on, but the two white guys were taking the coat off of the black guy. The black guy wasn't putting up much of a fight, until the two other guys starting walking off. They were saying something back and forth, but I had no idea what. One of the white guys kept walking, and the other turned back. The two started fighting. Well, they never quite got around to actually landing any punches or kicks, but they went through the preliminaries.

The guy who was not participating in any of this, grabbed his buddy and starting pulling him away, across the street in front of me. There were still some words being exchanged, but it looked like the confrontation was over. Then the black guy started following them across the street. It was at this point that the light turned green.

Since they were directly in front of my car, I didn't proceed. Eventually they cleared the way, and I started forward. I'd gotten about three feet when the black guy turned around and started back across the street. I stopped well before I would have hit him, but that didn't stop him from turning his anger on me and kicking my car.

At this point, I decided it wouldn't be the best idea to get out of my car and confront this individual. First of all, I was in the middle of traffic, second of all, he was clearly in a contentious mood. Third, I didn't know what the other two guys would do. So once he cleared the way, I drove off.

I got to the diner where I was going to have breakfast and got out and checked my car. Sure enough there was a dent where the guy had kicked my car. I tried to decide what to do. Judging from the looks of the guy, I was guessing there was a good chance he was homeless. Even if I could find him, there chances of him having any money to fix the dent was small. I also tried to decide about an insurance claim, but figure that was a losing proposition, because it would be near or below the deductable.

I had a quick breakfast while I tried to figure it out. I decided to go back to see if any of the three were still around. I stopped at the gas station near the corner where this had all happened. I thought I had seen the guy before I pulled in. I got out of my car and looked back toward the intersection and the guy who kicked my car was walking towards me.

He asked very politely and humbly, "Excuse me sir, have you seen two guys walking by here." I said I had seen him kick my car. He seemed a bit surprised by this, although he did say he'd pay for it. I thought it highly unlikely but didn't know what to say. He said that the guys had taken his bag and his coat. I hadn't seen a bag on either of the two men, but I had seen them take his coat.

He kept going on about the coat, and when he realized I had seen what happened he got a bit frustrated, but when I reminded him about him kicking my car, he just sat on the ground. He said he was homeless (he'd mentioned something about Pine Street Manor which is the homeless shelter a few blocks from where all this had happened), and they'd gotten all his stuff. He also said he didn't do drugs, although the smell coming off of him belied that idea (although it could have been from being homeless and unbathed). I talked to him a bit more and decided to call the cops. The guy agreed about calling the cops.

I talked to the cops for a bit, describing what I had seen between the three men and then what the guy had done to my car. She asked me if I felt comfortable letting the guy talk about what happened. At this point the guy was super passive, so I handed over my phone. He held it backwards, and even after I turned it around for him he still was having a hard time. I ended up holding the phone for him while he described what happened.

His story was that he'd put his bag down somewhere and when he came back he saw three guys walking away with a bag that looked like his. He'd asked to look at the bag to see if it was, but said he'd done it really politely since he didn't want to start anything. Apparently they kept going with his bag and his $250 dollar coat (that his brother had given him out of love).

The guy eventually wound down and I spoke briefly to the dispatcher again, then the police cruiser showed up. The guy started talking to the police office while I waited. The officer sat rather stoically through the whole story. Eventually a second cruiser came up with two more police officers. I talked to them briefly and showed them the dent in my car.

There was now a third police cruiser on hand, and a fourth officer. The guy who kicked my car came over to where I was talking to the officers about the dent and what had happened. They asked him if he'd kicked my car. He said yes, and the cop immediately said, "Put your hands behind your back, you're under arrest." The guy wasn't surprised, or even seemingly upset.

One of the cops quipped, "That was easy." I was a bit upset about this. They didn't seem to care that the guy had his stuff stolen. They told me I could leave. I asked if they wanted a description of the other two guys. They said they'd gotten the description from the guy they'd just arrested. I said he couldn't remember how many guys there were. So reluctantly they let me start describing them.

I started the description and the cop said, "So they looked like junkies." I tried to say they looked like townies. I also said that the whole thing would have been caught on the traffic camera. But apparently for something like this, they wouldn't go through the hassle. They said that it was probably just two other guys from the methadone clinic. The guy who kicked my car, hadn't mentioned anything about his bag being stolen while he was in the methadone clinic.

I talked briefly to the first cop who had arrived at this point. Mentioned which way the guys had gone. I said I hadn't seen them with a bag, but I had seen the coat. I said it was a long black quilted coat with fur trim. He asked if it had a money symbol on it. I hadn't seen anything of the sort. The coat the guy had described to him, totally didn't match the one I had seen. So I wonder where he had gotten the coat. I also wonder whether the guys I had seen were two of the three guys that might (or might not) have stolen the guy's bag and the coat he described to the cops.

I feel bad for the guy. He has his stuff stolen, and in a moment of anger he takes it out on someone else (well, that someone else's car). As a result, he gets arrested. I don't know what's happened to him since, I haven't heard from the cops about the matter. I do know they don't feel sorry for him, since in their eyes he's just a junkie. Maybe someday he'll be more than that.

Dollar Bill Penguin

One of my hobbies is origami, and a few years ago I started inventing my own models. While out at a bar, I came up with a way to make a penguin out of a dollar bill. It makes a great tip. So, I've decided to publish the how-to on how to make the penguin.

1) Fold the dollar in half length-wise and unfold.
2) Fold the corners of the dollar to the center-line (airplane fold)
3) Fold the new edges to the center, making the point sharper
4) Fold the dollar bill in half with the folded corners inside
5) Reverse fold the dollar so that the point is perpendicular to the rectangle
6) Reverse fold again, this time along the edge of the new triangle
7) Crimp fold the straight section through the obtuse point of the triangle so that the long edge of the resulting rectangle is parallel to the long edge of the triangle (see comments for tip)
8) Inside reverse fold the two small flaps parallel to the long edge. The new fold should lay along the long edge of the triangle
9) Inside reverse fold the tip of the triangle. The reversed edge should form a slightly acute angle with the side of the model.
10) Inside reverse fold the corner of the rectangle at a 45 degree angle, so that the crease lies slightly above the free corner
11) Fold the two free points (formed in step 10) inward, so that the free edges are parallel.
12) Inside reverse fold the point (and all the layers) at a 45 degree angle. The fold should go through the free corner. This forms the two feet.
13) Crimp fold the head. This is most easily accomplished by opening the head and folding the point in half, then folding the point back outward. Then refold the head.

The model can stand on its own. Once the basic folds are done the beak can be curled downward slightly to give it a more realistic shape. To give the flippers a bit more character, try giving them a slight fold in half along the point, just enough to give the surface a bit of a bend.

Catching Up

I haven't blogged for a while. I can't say it's because I didn't have anything to write about, it's just that I lacked the motivation to write. Also it tended to slip my mind, I would think, "I should write something," then by the time I'm done checking my email...

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Roller Derby Eastern Regional Tournament in White Plains, NY. It was a lot of fun, and I ended up seeing something like 13 derby bouts over the course of the weekend. With 17 bouts total that's a pretty serious tally.

One thing I couldn't help but notice was the incredible diversity in ability between the top teams and the bottom teams. The closest thing I can compare it too, is the difference between high school football and pro-football. Although that is a bit off, maybe an all-star high school team. The most obvious difference is in terms of speed and conditioning. But there is also significant difference in teamwork and coordination. Also, the top teams are much more tactical in their approach.

After the first day of bouts, I went to the after party. It was a floating after party going from bar to bar in downtown White Plains. At the first bar, they were having a drink promotion (actually many of the bars had the promotion at one point). The most interesting part to me was that the guy running the promotion was actually on the wagon. Apparently he has been dry for over five years, and got the job just after getting sober.

I also met a bunch of fun folks, including some of the skaters who were hosting the tournament. In particular I'd like to mention Vixen Von Bruizen and Milkstud Piglet. Piglet approached me at the first bar and said she knew I was with the roller derby. I asked how she knew, apparently I stand out. Must have been the bowling shirt.

The last bar of the night had a mechanical bull. We immediately got in line for the bull when we got to the bar. The line was pretty long, and wasn't moving terribly quickly as the guy was taking it easy on the women, and letting them have a second try on occasion (or letting them ride a second time with one of their friends). Watching two girls riding a mechanical bull is not actually that exciting. Anyway, eventually my turn came. I actually think I lasted a good amount of time, and I remember hearing a lot of cheering from the derby crowd (although I don't remember actually seeing anything). When I was finally thrown off and talking to those who had been watching, Dumptruck told me someone had commented that I was doing really well, he'd said, "Of course he is, his feet are still on the ground." Dumptruck's observation was actually quite astute, because a few times I did push off the ground to maintain my seat. I also got to spend some time with one of my fraternity brothers, Mostafa, who got to the bar just in time to watch me ride the bull.

The next morning I was a bit the worse for wear, but I managed to get up and have breakfast with Jen and her family. We got to share some bacon, which was good.

I have to mention a couple of driving related things about the trip to NY. First, when I was about to cross into Connecticut (you know, the big "Welcome to Connecticut" sign), I saw a Massachusetts state trooper sitting on the state line, waiting to pull over people crossing into Massachusetts. The second thing I have to mention, is that I still hate driving through Connecticut. It seems like every time I drive through Connecticut I hit construction traffic.

In other news, I had a birthday. I got together with some friends and went to Fire + Ice, which is a Mongolian BBQ place. Basically you fill up a bowl with raw ingrediants (mine was mostly beef and bacon, with some corn in the first batch and broccoli in the second). Then you give it to the guy working the grill and he fries it up, adding whatever sauce you selected (in my case no sauce). I also had a couple of large drinks. The second drink I had was actually a shared drink, which I didn't end up sharing. I don't know if its a Mass law or a Cambridge law, but bars can't sell one person more than two drinks at a time. The large shared drink count as four drinks. Anyway, between the volume of the drinks and the amount of food, I was stuffed by the time I left. But I did end up having enough room to share a couple of scorpion bowls at the Hong Kong after dinner. We actually spent a good amount of time at the Hong Kong playing with the little plastic animals they put in the Scorpion bowls, creating little scenes and taking pictures of them.

Alright, I'm sure there was something else I wanted to mention while I was writing, but I can't think of it right now. I do want to wish my brother a Happy Birthday! Hope it's a great one!

Eosinophilic Esophagitis

Before I go into my news for last Tuesday, I have to welcome Heidi Rebekah Bartholomay to the world. She is my sister's second daughter. While my sister was busy having a daughter, I was also in the hospital getting an endoscopy. The ironic thing was that due to sleep apnea, I required full anesthesia for a relatively simple procedure, whereas my sister only got local for a c-section.

The reason I was getting the endoscopy was because I have been having issues with swallowing, also know as dysphagia. Basically I would be eating, and then suddenly the food would get stuck before it got to my stomach. I won't go into all the messy details, but sometimes the food would pass the blockage, other times it wouldn't.

This has been going on for quite a while (first time was about five years ago), but it didn't happen all that often. Maybe once a month it would occur, sometimes it would be months between episodes, other times it would happen everyday for a week. There were certain foods that seemed to have this occur more often, but it seemed just as dependent on my stress level and how empty my stomach was.

The first time I went to the doctor with this, he had me get a barium swallow. The barium swallow revealed that I have a hiatal hernia. Since it wasn't happening that often, and didn't seem to be getting any worse, the doctor suggested just eating more slowly.

A couple years after the initial barium swallow, the situation got worse. I had an episode where the food got caught and I was unable to swallow for several hours, not even water or my own saliva. So I went to the doctor again and was scheduled for another barium swallow. This one revealed the exact same thing as the first, with no new information.

A month and a half ago, I had an even more severe episode. This time I wasn't able to swallow the next day and ended up going to the ER to see if they could do anything. They listened to me explain the inability to swallow, then I got to the part about the hiatal hernia and they said, oh here swallow these pills for heartburn. Eventually it cleared up and I went home.

So, another trip to the doctor, and he referred me to a GI specialist. I met with her and she went through the whole history. She seemed stumped, but scheduled me for an endoscopy so they could look down my throat and see if there was a problem. Eventually I got the appointments scheduled. I actually had to appointments, one to see the anesthesiologist and the second to have the actual procedure.

As I mentioned before, because of my sleep apnea, they needed to put me under for the procedure. So the day of the procedure arrived, and I was a bit nervous. The thought of going under didn't really appeal to me. I also didn't have great hope that they would be able to find out what was causing my problems, since everyone seemed stumped. Oh, also the procedure wasn't until the afternoon and I was told not to eat or drink after midnight.

So I met with the doctor before the procedure and explained the situation. He asked me if I had allergies or asthma, I said yes. He said it sounds like Eosinophilic Esophagitis, which is more prevalent in young men and those with asthma and allergies. Just like that.

So eventually they wheeled me into the procedure room and had me turn on my side. The nurse and the anesthesiologist were talking and then the doctor came in. Then suddenly I was asleep. There was no count down, no are you ready, just out. I came to about forty minutes later. It took another five minutes or so to be fully awake. Then there was about twenty minutes of observation and time for my ride home to get there. During the wait the doctor came out and confirmed his suspicion. He also said the lower portion of my esophagus was narrow, as in narrower than the 1/2 inch scope.

He explained that Eosinophilic Esophagitis is a swelling of the esophagus that is probably caused by a food allergy. He gave me a couple of prescriptions and said I should get tested for food allergies. I was a bit surprised that one of the medicines was Flovent. As an asthmatic, I am familiar with Flovent as an inhaled steroid. In this case however, I'm not suppose to inhale the steroid but swallow it. The other medication comes in these little plastic shot glasses. It is pink, a bit chalky and tastes like medicine. It is also annoying because I'm supposed to take it four times a day, and have to take it on an empty stomach (2 hours after a meal and no food for an hour after). This especially makes breakfast tricky.

Anyway, all that being said, it is a great relief to finally have a name for what's going on. Although I have to say it is annoying that no one came up with this before.

On the drive back from the procedure I was talking with David who was kind enough to chauffeur me. He thought it made sense, since people who have food allergies are often picky eaters, which I most definitely am. The thing he brought up is what's left that could be causing this? I suspect that it's a seasoning that I might tolerate eating in small quantities but is enough to trigger this reaction.

But the main thing I want to point out, is that all those times as a child when I was choking down food I didn't like... Maybe I really was choking it down.

Mother's Day

It has been many years since I've celebrated Mother's Day, not because I don't love my mom, but because she passed away. When this time of year rolls around, I have acutely felt what I was missing. With distance comes perspective, and from now on, I will endeavor to celebrate what I have instead.

My mom was an educator. After college she was a teacher, then she started a family, which set her on a different career path. But she was still an educator, as she was constantly teaching me and my siblings. She also taught Sunday school, and when we were older she became a substitute teacher. Education was very important to her, and in turn to me. I could go on about this subtopic, but I will just say one last thing. There came a day when my education in math and science far outstripped her own. It was a bittersweet time for her, since while she was proud of me, she recognized it marked a transition in our relationship, a sort of declaration of independence, which to her came all too soon.

Aside from the formal education, my mom sought to taught me other things as well. One thing she was adamant about was manners. I am not saying dinner was a stiff formal affair, but there were no elbows on the table. She also taught me the importance of "please" and "thank-you" and the formalization of those in the form of thank-you cards and hostess gifts.

The real lesson of manners, isn't the set of actions and reactions that have been codified and refined through time. It is the idea of showing others respect and doing things in a way that benefits everyone. Respecting others is one of the lessons my mom didn't overtly try to teach me, but she taught me anyway.

Along the lines of respect, is a lesson I think my mom learned from her mother is to think the best of other people. My grandmother found it impossible to think that other people had negative motivations. My mother was a bit more realistic, but still strove to believe in other people, and wouldn't look down on someone. I remember after college, I had a neighbor who worked as a stripper. I told my mom one day, and didn't quite know what to expect, but I was surprised at what a positive spin my mom put on the girl's choice in career. Even in my twenties my mom manager to teach me something.

Another thing my mom taught me was the importance of honesty. As a child I was often very creative with the truth. My mom told me in no uncertain terms that she might be mad if I did something wrong, but she would not abide my lying about it. I was still rather creative, just not to her. But one day that changed, abruptly, and I went cold-turkey on lying. I don't know if this anecdote had anything to do with it, although I don't think it did, but it's a good story and very telling. My mom organized a surprise birthday party one year for my dad. We were all in on it, and thought it was great fun. When the party finally arrived and we surprised my dad, my mom broke down and apologized, and said that she had never lied to him before and the deception the surprise party necessitated had torn her up inside.

That is not to say that my mom wasn't sneaky. She was just honest about it. One of here favorite ruses was taking us shopping and finding out what we liked. She would then sneak back an hour or day later and buy us that item for a present. She would also put the wrong names on presents under the Christmas tree so that we wouldn't be able to guess what we got. Actually, speaking of Christmas and honesty, we never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy growing up.

The last thing I will ramble about, that my mom taught me without trying to teach me relates to frugality, but nearly the opposite. I never remember my mom buying something that we didn't need. Things tended to get old and worn out, but they generally had to stop working before being replaced. But when she did buy something, she always went for something of good quality. This didn't mean buying name-brand clothes, but it did mean our first computer had a real keyboard. It also meant that we didn't eat generic Oreos when real Oreos tasted so much better.

I suppose that last lesson I learned from my mom, is an odd one to end with. But not all the things we learn from our moms are terribly practical, or world defining. Sometimes they are as simple as letting your kid lick the bowl.

Happy Mother's Day.

Early start to St. Patrick's day

I was at the local BK for a late lunch and ended up calling 911. I had just finished eating and was finishing the chapter in my book when I heard a drunken voice. He was being pretty loud, although the only thing I could make out was something like "Don't do this." I also saw him pacing around a bit. The guy sitting at the next booth went to the front counter shortly thereafter.

I didn't really know what was going on, since I couldn't see over booths between where I was and where the guy was. Anyway, I thought it was a belligerent drunk, or two drunks getting into a fight. When I walked over, I found someone passed out on the ground and the drunk guy trying to wake the person up. I thought it was a guy at first, but the drunk guy kept calling her a her. He was also trying to pick her up and put her back in the booth. Which resulting in her falling again, and hitting her head on the ground (although that was from a mostly lying position).

I got out my cell phone and called 911. The guy who'd gone to the front said the people at the counter had already called. Of course, since no one aside from the drunk guy was anywhere near her, I thought it prudent to call anyway. Her pants were unbuttoned and her sweatshirt was pulled up revealing a lot of pale belly.

The 911 dispatcher told me to turn her on her side, which I should have remembered to do anyway, and monitor her breathing. The drunk guy was helping by saying "Charlestown", "Don't do this" and "wake up." He was saying it loud enough that the dispatcher asked me who it was. I thought they were together, because they were both clearly inebriated and wore matching green bead necklaces.

Anyway, it wasn't long before the fire truck got there. Hardly surprising since the station is literally right next door. While one of the guys was checking on the woman, a second was getting the medical stuff out. The third guy looked in the paper bag the guy had in the booth, revealing a small bottle of vodka. The drunk guy said that it was his and wanted it back. The guy from the fire station ended up giving it back but scolded the guy for bringing it in, there are kids around after all. He also questioned the guy about who the woman was. All the guy could manage was "Charlestown". He kept questioning the guy, and it turns out he had met the woman an hour ago. He also couldn't remember which direction they had come from.

The guy then found another bag which turned out to be the woman's. In the bag was a number of prescription medicine bottles. I counted at least five, including one of the extra large sized bottles. The guy read one of them out loud and it was codeine. By this point the woman was starting to wake up a little. The guy from the fire house kept asking her name, and if she took any pills. She couldn't manage her name but did claim to not have taken any pills.

The ambulance arrived a bit later. The guys from the fire station asked the EMT's if they knew the woman. The first EMT told the second she was smashed, the second one said "big surprise". The second EMT went on to explain that she had lots of "frequent flyer miles".

While all this was going on, a cop car came speeding towards us down Broadway. I thought he was also responding, but he proceeded up the street. A bit later two more cruisers zoomed by. One of the fire station guys said, "Looks like it's already started."

As the EMTs and fire station guys were loading the woman onto the gurney for the trip to the hospital, the drunk guy was sitting there with a bemused look. "I'm the bad guy" he said, with little conviction. He did thank the EMTs on their way out. He also offered the guy from the fire station something, but I couldn't make out what he said. He repeated the offer a couple of times before the guy figured out what he was saying, but turned him down and again gave the line about there being kids around.

I can hardly wait for the parade tomorrow, not to mention St. Patrick's day itself!

Cruise

Last week I went on a cruise. While onboard I wrote about the goings on and such. It is a bit lengthy, and I debated posting as separate files, but I am just including it all here:

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Day 1 - 6:54 PM

This is the first day of my cruise. I got up at 5:00 this morning (alright, I snoozed until 5:35 or so, but it's the thought that counts). I had done all my packing the night before but there were a couple of things I decided to throw in at the last minute, like my Jack Daniel's hat. I was going to bring my Yankees cap, but I wasn't able to track it down while I was packing, not that I tried terribly hard...

Anyway, I got to call the taxi and find that my new “smart” phone had deleted all my contacts. Sorry, the sync feature overwrote the contacts, even though I don't remember ever syncing the phone. To make it even better, I have already donated my old phone to the battered women's shelter, so I have no way of getting the numbers back. Ain't technology wonderful?

I did end up using my smart phone to look up the number to the cab company and in relatively short order I was on my way to the airport. I only had to make one or two runs back upstairs to get something that I forgot, like my ipod. Again, technology.

While going through the security line there was a woman traveling with her 6 year old daughter who was beside me in line (Logan has dual security lines at that terminal). The little girl had minnie mouse ears on, and was quite adorable. When she put her daffy duck doll onto the conveyor belt, she put her sweater over him and tucked him in. It was only later while waiting for the plane that I realized that not only did the girl have Minnie Mouse ears, but she was also wearing a red and white polka dot skirt, and the white sweater, etc, that makes up Minnie's traditional outfit. I would have taken a picture, but it seemed kind of a skeevy thing to do.

There was some sort of heightened security at the airport. Although it didn't materialize into much. They made me show them the inside of my hat when I went through the metal detector, which hasn't happened to me before, but since I don't generally wear hats, it might not have been a recent change. But at the gate they said that TSA was going to be checking everyones ID again. But like I said, it didn't amount to much since they didn't end up checking my ID.

The flight down was pretty uneventful. I was pleased to have an emergency exit row seat, and even ended up having a vacant seat next to me. Somehow I even managed to get some sleep. I could have sworn I was just resting my eyes, but I was asleep enough that I slept through the beverage service. But I was awake for the snack service and got some animal crackers. They were even the frosted animal crackers. Although I think they gave me a defective bag because it was empty in no time... I can't blame technology for that one.

By the time we landed I was starving. Turns out a peanutbutter sandwich at 5:30 only managed to hold me over until 11:00. I had a quick lunch at the airport, not knowing when I would get on the boat and when I would get food once there. Anyway, once I finished eating and got my bag, I had to find the shuttle to the boat. Not exactly obviously which way I had to go. There was a helpful sign that said, “Mears Shuttle” at the bottom of the elevator, but it wasn't helpful enough to have an arrow. Eventually I found another sign that also said “Mears Shuttle” but this one had an arrow. After wandering in that direction for a while, I wondered if I missed it, and couldn't find another sign' Eventually I did make it to the counter, got my ticket and made my way onto the bus.

It turns out that between the airport and the port, there is a lot of nothing. Well, not nothing, but swampy and inhospitable looking. Lots of low scrubby plants, occasional bayou looking areas, etc. It actually kind of depressed me. Although, so did the palm trees around the airport. I don't know why palm trees made me depressed, maybe because they represent a sort of hedonistic escapism that always eludes me. It's something that other people obviously enjoy, but provides me with no enjoyment, so I resent them instead.

After 45 minutes or so we made it to the port. The last couple of miles provided a good view of the Kennedy Space center, or at least a view of the shuttle assembly building. Being that the assembly building is the tallest thing in a hundred miles probably helps. I also got sight of the cruise ship, which was the second tallest thing around. It really did dwarf the buildings and such surrounding it.

We all shuffles off the buses and started waiting in lines to get our room key and such. They also gave us medical forms to fill out and sign (I'll get back to that in a bit). When I got to the first layer of security, the woman checking ID's and Fun Passes told me she knew another guy named Peter Lively. I think she said he was from New Jersey, which to the best of my knowledge means we're not related. At the metal detector inside, they again made me show the inside of my hat. I also started feeling very overdressed. I was wearing black slacks, a red polo shirt and black leather shoes. First of all, I was the only one in sight wearing such dark clothing, I was also one of the few people wearing long pants. I was also the only one carrying a winter jacket.

So once through the metal detector the next step was to hand over the medical form. Basically there were two questions: 1) Do you feel feverish, have a runny nose, a sore throat or confirmed exposure to influenza (H1N1) and 2) within the past 2 days have you had diahrea or vomitting. It went on to say that they wouldn't necessarily kick you off the cruise for saying yes, but they have to have you get checked out just in case.

This winter, I have had a sore throat on and off. It seems to be exacerbated by spending a night drinking. The twelve drinking days of Christmas did not help my condition, needless to say. Going out Thursday night also did not help. Why Thursday? Well, I quit my job on Wednesday, but was kind of stressed out, wrung out after work, so I just went home and crashed. Thursday I went to dinner with David and Gwen, and decided not to go straight home afterwards. So not going straight home ended up meaning staying until last call (since it wasn't like I had anywhere to be the next day). Anyway, that meant I had a bit of a sore throat at the time of filling out the form. I checked yes.

They led me away from the other other passengers and had me wait in the nurses office. The office had glass walls on the side facing the rest of the terminal, so as the passengers were checking in and boarding the ship they were able too see me waiting in the office. To make the picture more complete, the Venetian blinds covering the windows added a sense of confinement. It felt like something between waiting in the principle's office (not that I would know, of course...) and being in jail.

It took quite a while for the nurse to show up. In the meantime the woman who escorted me to the office in the first place stopped by to check on me and asked me where I was from. I told her Boston. She came back in a minute and informed me that she was related (I think it was) to some Lively's in the Boston area. Again I had to inform someone that to the best of my knowledge, I was not related to the person she knew.

Anyway, eventually the nurse showed up, asked me why I checked which box. I told her about the minor sore throat. She took my temperature and finding it within the normal range of a healthy person sent me on my way. I was a bit surprised that she didn't bother to look at my throat. I was a bit relieved to see that when I left the nurse's office there were a few other people waiting. I was glad to know I wasn't the only one who said yes to one of the questions. I hope they were able to get on their way as quickly as I was (well, quickly once the nurse showed up).

One bonus was that because I was stuck in the nurse's office, they bumped me to the front of the check in line. So in practically no time at all I was getting on the ship. Oh, there was the small matter of getting my picture taken for shore excursions and such. The girl had a hard time tilting the camera back far enough. Ha ha. Technology.

I worked my way up to my cabin, which is on the 12th deck. I splurged and got a room on the spa deck which means I get free access to the whirlpool, sauna and steamrooms. But the 12th deck is far up, which I would appreciate later.

I got some food on the Lido deck, which is two down from my deck. I went to the Mongolian Wok, where you scoop vegetables and noodles and such into a bowl, and then they stir fry your bowl of stuff with the meat of your choice (as long as you are choosing beef, shrimp or chicken). You also have the choice of sauce (three choices again). Unfortunately the line took forever. It might have taken me half an hour to get through. Anyway, the beef was a bit on the stringy side, but it was okay overall. Definitely not a favorable comparison with Fire & Ice which was where David, Gwen and I dined two night before.

Shortly thereafter we had our safety assembly. My assembly area happens to be on the fifth deck. Luckily it is also on my end of the ship, so I only had to go down seven floors and didn't have to go the length of the ship as well. Unlike the last cruise I went on, this time they didn't make us take our life vests down. We also didn't have to stand around in a group' Basically we watched a little video in the theater, watching the crew members do their fligh attendent-esque demonstration and then we were eventually free to leave. Did I mention that my room is on the 12th deck, and the orientation/safety thing was on 5? There was also a whole floor of people below us, so that meant that all the eleveators getting to deck 5 were full. Seven floors. I'm not in shape for this. But maybe, by the end of the cruise I will be.

I looked around the boat some more, and kept checking my room to see if my luggage got delivered. Eventually one of my bags showed up. A bit later and we were underway. I was concerned that my other bag hadn't shown up. Especially because I had foolishly not opted to bring that bag as a carry-on, even though it was the one that had my medicine in it, not to mention my camera. As a result, I did not have my camera for while we were still in port, and while we were cruising towards the ocean.

It got on towards 6:00 and my bag still wasn't there. So I wandered down to the service deck. I told the girl that my bad hadn't shown up yet. She asked if I had checked the stack of bags sitting 20 feet away. Alright, maybe it would have been an obvious thing to check, but I missed it, alright. Anyway, sure enough my bag was there. I guess the tag had gotten torn off while it was being handled.

Well, it's just about time to head down for dinner. I haven't even gotten to playing mini-golf yet. Or my trip to the spa. Maybe after dinner.

Day 1 – 10:05 PM

I just got back from dinner. Apparently I have been seated at the “singles” table. This means that no one else at the table is sharing a cabin (apparently). And although the other four people each seem to be unmarried... Well, I'm the youngest by a few generations. Well, perhaps that's an exaggeration, but at least one and half generations. They seem like nice enough people, but... Although, it really does seem about right. The average age on a cruise is pretty old, since retirees have the time to spend on cruises, and are more likely to enjoy the relatively sedate lifestyle a cruise ship offers.

So, dinner was a bit of a disappointment, but I have high hopes for the future meals. When I ordered I made a point of telling the waiter that I didn't want sauce with the shrimp cocktail. I then made a point of saying I didn't want sauce with my steak. Actually, to step back, I also said that about the chicken fingers... He mumbled something which I took to mean that it was all on the side... When the chicken came out with a thing of dipping sauce, I wasn't too upset. It wasn't like the sauce was touching anything I was going to be eating. But then the shrimp came out with a couple of the shrimp actually in the cocktail sauce. I cut off those portions and made a point of telling the waitress (who was the senior person for our table) that I didn't like sauce and to make a point of not having sauce the rest of the time.

When my entree came out, I was quite upset to find my flat iron steak covered in pepper sauce. Again I called over the waitress and explained my aversion to sauce and that I had made a point of telling the waiter this. She apologized and took the plate away. She had asked if I was allergic to the sauce, which would only be true on a metaphorical or perhaps metaphysical level. I did say that I was allergic to garlic and onions and that I would appreciate her letting me know if anything came with those when it came time to order. She actually went a step further and asked if I would like to see the menu for the following night so that I could order and be sure that what I asked for was cooked in such a way as to not be a problem for me. I didn't want to be a bother (having sent back one dish and complained about another... Well, not too much of a bother). Anyway, she went on to explain that it would be easier for her and faster since there wouldn't be dishes sent back. Also some of the meals would take extra time to prepare in such a way as to not have onions or garlic.

So a little while later a lady from the kitchen staff came out with the week of menus. She showed me what would be served the following night and asked me which entree I would like to have. I went with the Prime Rib (big surprise) and also asked for the duck. Of course the other people at the table were asking to see the menu then. The lady from the kitchen said it would be a surprise for them. So, of course, when she left they all asked me what was on the menu. I could only remember four items, two that I ordered, the lobster which the waitress has listed as an example of something that could be prepared allergy free, and the spaghetti with carbanera sauce because tomato sauce freaks me out.

Anyway, before dinner, I had time for a few other activities. I played a round of miniature gold to start with. I didn't do too badly. I was sandwiched between a family of four (two adults and two daughters, about 5&7) and a group of three girls (probably about 13 each). The group of four told me I could play through, but not being in a rush I told them it was alright. Although it did mean the girls behind me sometimes were waiting for them to finish and me to start. Anyway, it was fun. I was a bit disappointed that the course used large ropes for the sides instead of something rigid. This meant it was impossible to try for a rebound shot. Well, almost, since there are the little brackets that hold the ropes in place, but they are maybe 3 inches wide and spaced every two feet or more.

I also took some time to visit the spa. They have something called the Thassalosomething spa, which is a hot tub. But, they have sea salt in the hot tub to do something or other. But the real difference is they have this system of rails, that support you like a lounge chair in the water. The rails are horizontal so perhaps 15 or so support you, then the bubbles actually come out from below the rails. So you get a much more even jacuzzi effect. I also tried the “Oriental Sauna” which was a room with mosaic chaise lounge chairs that are heated. So the room isn't that warm, but the seats definitely are. I briefly went into each of the two steam rooms, but they were a bit overpowering for how I was feeling. Also the first one smelled mildewy, which I really don't like in a steam room. The other room was the aromatherapy steam room which smelled strongly of eucalyptus. I mentioned that to one of the people in the sauna (there is a door connecting the two) as she had mentioned that it was good for clearing her sinuses. I mentioned the eucalyptus and she said she had no sense of smell.

I think that might be just about it. I did of course leave out a bunch of stuff, but all the minutae of the cruise wouldn't be worth writing, or reading. Also, if I did that then I would spend most of the cruise typing away rather than enjoying the cruise.

Oh, one thing I did confirm is that they will be showing the football games on the big screen on the lido deck. Something odd that I just noticed is that while this word processor has a lot of problems with words I have used, it seems to have no problems with lido. Maybe it is a real world and not just a made of sailing term after all.

Day 2 – 6:25 pm

I tried to wake up for the sunrise stretching class, but overslept by about 5 minutes. Alright, I didn't try that hard to wake up for the class, but I was up shortly thereafter anyway. It might have been because I stayed up last night to watch “The Taking of Pelham 123” which didn't end until almost midnight. It could also be because I took a dramamine to help me sleep (I had a Jack and Coke while watching the movie, but it was a bit strong, and didn't help me do anything except as a diuretic). The boat seems to have a couple of fundamental modes. The most noticeable is the approximately 1 hertz mode, since it seems to induce the most acceleration. There is also a slow roll type mode which might might on the order of a tenth of a hertz and is only mostly only noticeable by referencing something on the horizon.

So after I woke up I headed down to breakfast. To say I was disappointed would be on the generous side. The line was terribly long. The eggs were passable by normal standards, which meant only slightly gross to me. I don't know why the pancakes didn't taste good to me, but they didn't either, maybe it was the syrup. While going through the line, I didn't see any bacon, so I settled on some ham. The ham ended up being rather tasteless... yeah tasteless ham, no figure. Anyway, they did end up having bacon, but it was so overcooked as to be unappetizing. You read that right, bacon I didn't feel like eating. Also the banana had a couple of bruises, so I left it, and a bunch of other food on my plate. Oh well.

After breakfast, I headed to the morning walk around the boat. Two laps apparently is about a mile. At first I kept with the group, but when we hit the front of the boat and the wind kicked up and slowed a bunch of people down, I forged ahead. It was decent cardio, although my shins were hurting by the end.

I cleaned up and headed back down for the Singles Fast-Friends thing. Turns out I was the only guy who went, aside from the crew member host. I was also the youngest by far, aside from the crew member host. Actually, I think most of the women had children my age and older. Perhaps even grand children my age. But it was interesting to meet them, so perhaps it wasn't a total loss.

On my way to the singles thing, I was in such a hurry, that I left my card behind. It wasn't a big deal, but it is still a bit embarrassing. First full day and I already forgot my key. I hadn't even been drinking or anything.

I went to the gym for a little bit. Worked out with some of the machines. It is kind of depressing how weak I am in some areas. My abs didn't let me down, but my arm strength is pitiful. Or at least pitiful based on my expectations. I didn't workout that long, but I did work out, so I rewarded myself by spending some time in the spa. I checked out the spa hot-tub thing again, and spent some time in the steam room. The aromatherapy steam room was more more palatable this time. The hot chair sauna still doesn't do much for me. It burns the back of my calves, so I end up straddling the chair. After a couple of minutes I gave up.

I had a few drinks (Coke) by the pool and waited for the mixology event. Which I found out wasn't what I thought'. Turns out they were drawing names to see which contestants got to mix a drink and get it rated. I put my name in and ended up getting picked. Unfortunately, the mixology contest was going to happen at 3:00, unknown to me when I entered. I had scheduled a massage for 2:15, so I would miss the event. Probably just as well, because I was only going to make a mint julep, although I was toying with the idea of using Jack with Chambord and gingerale.

Actually, speaking of mint juelps, I decided to have one myself. The whole reason I was fixated on a mint julep was because I saw a woman with a mojito, which is like a mint julep but sucky. SO I asked the bartender if she knew how to make one. She hadn't even heard of the drink, but was perfectly willing to let me walk her through it. Turns out there is a Russian drink that is very similar but with Vodka instead of Bourbon, and with lime. I suppose the lime takes the place of the sour mix that some people put in mint juleps. I was thinking about getting one, but it was too close to the time for my massage.

When I arrived for my massage the girl asked me if I wanted to upgrade to the special, which was the massage plus a facial and a scalp massage which was only six dollars more. I took the upgrade. There was a bit of a wait for the massage, but it went well. I did have to sit through a bit of an interview, and listen to the wonders of detoxing, which would cause water retention and muscle aches, etc. The girl also didn't approve of my using baby shampoo to wash my face (my optometrist suggested using baby shampoo to wash my eyelids to reduce red-eye). Anyway, once the massage actually began it was great. She seemed impressed by the size of the knot in my back which is one of my main reasons for getting massages. But she managed to unknot it. She was also gentle on my legs which I mentioned that they tended to be sensitive (she suggested the sensitivity might not just be to pressure but also to heat, since I mentioned to her about not liking the hot chairs). She did blame some of my aches on toxins again.

While chatting during the massage, she told me she was from the Philippines. I mentioned that I had seen a few movies from the Philippines. First I mentioned the women in prison movies which were all filmed there, but then I mentioned the ones with the midget action star. She actually knew about him and had seen a few of his movies. Apparently he didn't just have the one movie that I had seen. But she didn't know what happened to him, if he just stopped making movies or what. Sounds a bit like she was a fan of his work.

The facial part stung a bit, my skin being quite sensitive. But, it wasn't all that bad. She left some stuff to sink into my face and then proceeded with the scalp massage. I love scalp massages and told her as much. I also said I don't get them nearly as often as I would like. She asked how often I would like them, I didn't say constantly, although I was inclined to, and she asked if everyday would be enough. It might I said. She went on to say that when she was home, she got a scalp massage everyday from her mother. Anyway, the facial did do something, since my skin did seem healthier or more glowing perhaps.

After we were done, I changed into my swimsuit and headed back to the spa. More time in the hot tub, and a couple of trips to the steam room, separately by attempts at the chairs. When I got back to my stateroom I shaved my head and cleaned up the perimeter of my beard. I tried to take a nap, but it just wasn't happening. So I wandered around a bit. I had seen on the TV (in between attempts at a nap) that the wind was blowing at 73 kph or so. I ended up on the 5th deck in the front to see how it felt. I had tried the 14th deck but it had a windscreen wall.

I got outside and actually had to push the door closed the wind was blowing so hard. I walked forward and was quite impressed by the strength of the wind. I really shouldn't have brought my hand since I ended up mangling it trying to hold on to it. There were two girls at the front watching the sunset and taking pictures. They were quite amused watching the wind lift up my shirt and flap it around my body. I chatted with them briefly and took a short video of them walking in the wind (the wind really was fierce and they were leaning a good 15 degrees forward to stay on their feet.

I suppose that's about it. I'm going to go watch a bit of the football game and then get ready for dinner.

Day 3 – 10:25AM

I watched a bit of the Vikings vs. the Saints before going to dinner. I saw about 2/3 of the first half, but had to leave to get ready with just over two minutes left to play. It was amusing to find people wandering in from dinner and sitting to watch the rest of the game. Interesting because last night was one of the elegant nights, so guys with ties and in some cases suits, and women in formal dresses were sitting on deck chairs watching the game. I made my excuses to some such and explained I had to go to dinner and hoped to catch the end of the game.

Dinner last night was... dinner. I had the prime rib and duck. I was also proud of myself because I ordered lettuce as an appetizer. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm eating healthy, but I am eating some healthy things. The prime rib was a bit overcooked to my way of thinking, but really tender and pretty tasty. The duck I had mixed feelings about. At times it was almost too flavorful. I don't think I've had duck before, but I would likely try it again. It wasn't nearly as gamey as I was afraid it would be.

After dinner I hurried back to the Lido deck to see if the game was still going on. I heard that it was in overtime. Sure enough, when I got there the game was tied 28-28 in overtime. The people who I had told about going to dinner were still there and welcomed me back.

I watched three plays in a row get reviewed, the first in the Vikings favor, the second in the Saints favor and the last in the Saints favor. The last one was the only call I would disagree with. I thought it was clear he bobbled the ball. Anyway, the game was over shortly after that as the Saints kicked a field goal. The last reviewed play would have made the FG attempt 12 yards longer and would have made the ending less assured.

There was Saints fan who had been making a lot of noise throughout the game. Standing up and doing the first down sign, popping his jersey when the Saints scored, that kind of thing. He didn't seem to be “in your face” kind of attitude, just pumped for his team, at least for the parts of the game I was there for. So after the game was over I watched the guy hugging his wife/girlfriend whatever and there was a banging sound, as a guy bumped into the back of his lounge chair and flipped it forward. At first I thought it was an accident, but the look on the guy's face as he walked by spoke of intent, drunken intent but intent. A minute later there was another crash as a drunk woman threw a bucket of ice at the celebrating couple. At first I thought the woman tripped, since she was obviously drunk and landed on the deck chairs. But it became clear that she had intended to throw the bucket, and the falling down was the accidental part. The woman half of the couple immediately started for the woman. She was held back by her man though. He just hugged her and whispered to her and stayed between her and the woman who threw the bucket. The drunk woman went back to her place, and I later saw her in the elevator, glazed eyes and all.

Anyway, I changed out of my formal wear and headed back down to watch Land of the Lost. It became clear to me that the movie had been censored. I was also feeling pretty tired so I decided on an early bedtime. I debated before going to sleep about scheduling an excursion but decided against it. I took a dramamine again to help me sleep. I haven't been sleeping well, waking up to go to the bathroom and general tossing and turning. The bed is actually pretty comfortable (aside from the hump in the middle where the twin bed splice is, and the pillows and sheets are excellent.

I woke up this morning groggy and tired. I had again planned on trying to get to the stretching class but was again a bit late. Although I would have been on time had it been the day before, but they moved it forward 30 minutes. My muscles were a bit sore and I was thinking of going to the spa hot tub thing, but I remembered that the day before it wasn't very warm in the morning, so I went to one on the 14th deck. The air was kind of cool, and the hot tub was only kind of hot, but it did the job for the most part.

I walked around the deck when I was done, and was greeted with diesel fumes from the smokestack. I had to cover my mouth with my towel and I was still feeling the need to cough the fumes and soot out. Since we were in dock, the wind controls the emission direction and not the speed of the boat. Anyway, the wind also meant, according to an announcement, that the small boat excursions were all canceled as the winds were to high for them to be safe. So it was just as well that I didn't book one, since the one I was thinking of would have been canceled.

Breakfast was a bit better this morning. Still not excellent, but better. The eggs were the same, but the bacon was much better. They also had waffles which were better to me than the pancakes had been. While waiting in line there was a woman behind me with her two kids. She was yelling, well use a loud voice, at her mother about getting into line and there being plenty of tables. She explained to me that her mother drove her crazy. No Duh! Her and her mother clearly had control issues between them, and the kids were one of the control issues. People. Almost as bad as technology... Alright, they are worse, but they are also better, at least sometimes.

Well, I'm off to look around Cozumel for a bit.

Day 3 – 10:51 PM

I went to Cozumel for a while. I looked at a bunch of the stores, but nothing really grabbed my attention, at least not enough that I was going to buy it. I thought I might find a tie clip or tie tack or perhaps some cufflinks, but there didn't seem to be any, at least not that I noticed. I also thought about getting a new wallet, since I do need a new wallet, but nothing screamed buy me.

I ended up going to the Three Amigos Catine. Everything inside was themed based on the movie, including wall plaques that had quotes from the movie. I ended up having about 5 large drinks and staying through an entire showing of the movie. Actually a bit more than an entire showing. But I didn't really have anything to do, so why not. The drinks were also pretty cheap, and I think I got at least one of them free because they liked me.

I got back to the ship and got some lunch. It was a pretty late lunch, but as I'm in the 8:15 dinner, it didn't seem too bad. Anyway, I found the bartender that had made me the mint julep. I asked her to make me the Russian version (after finishing my food and a Coke). It was much mintier than than a mint julep. I don't know if it was that the vodka did not contrast the flavor or if the lime accentuated the flavor. It was pretty good, even with the lime. I also found out that the bartender only works on the passenger side for a little bit, but she also works the crew side. Apparently they have a crew bar below decks. I suppose it makes sense, but I hadn't thought of it.

Anyway, I was pretty tipsy, and decided to hit the spa to leach some of the booze out of the system. The hot tub thing was quite hot, and I didn't stay in nearly as long as I thought I would. The steam room was also a bit much, so I barely sat in there at all. When I got back to my cabin, I took a shower and tried to cool off and recover from the drinking.

I'm getting the order of things a bit confused... Because at some point I got back to my cabin, and the room steward was there cleaning. I gave her a hard time about not being nearly as sneaky. She was just finishing up folding the towel animal for my bed. I showed her my trademark penguin origami dollar and she was duly impressed.

Anyway, I ended up going to the show, which was “Edge Evolution” or something similar. The performer is a juggler and former clown. He was quite funny and included the audience in his act. He did ball juggling, diablo juggling and rhythm/devil stick juggling. It was quite entertaining and my abs were reminded about my workout yesterday! When I left the theater, I did manage to forget my glasses case somehow. (I did check the desk after dinner, but it hadn't shown up).

Dinner was... dinner. Actually that doesn't do it real justice, but my stomach wasn't 100% recovered from all the drinking. The food was fine, and I actually enjoyed the salmon more than I figured I would. I was also pleased with myself for ordering another lettuce salad and actually eating the brocolli that came with my entrees. Unfortunately, halfway through my steak my hiatal hernia kicked in. I had to excuse myself to... Let's say clear the blockage. When I got back to the table I realized I hadn't cleared the blockage after all and had to excuse myself again. When I got back, my tablemates joked that they had ordered me a steak dessert. Since it turned out I couldn't even finish the steak I was eating, I'm glad it was just a joke.

Coco, the waitress, asked me for my dessert order and I begged off, saying I was way to full as it was. The truth was, I was having a hard time swallowing water and anything more solid would have sent me back to the bathroom. The hostess hadn't been by to show me the menu for tomorrow night, so I waited around for a bit after my tablemates left. Coco ended up bringing the menu up.

That's about it. Heading to bed.

Day 4 – 5:52 PM

I forgot to mention in last nights posting that before dinner I headed to the casino. I bought 50 dollars worth of chips (they charge an extra 5% to use the sail and sign card, probably to recover the bank fees). I was playing roulette, at which I've had some measure of success before. My first bet, I lost. Not even close. But on all of the subsequent bets I won. I was betting things like odd or even, 1st/2nd/3rd twelve, and red or black. Sometimes I would bet on, sometimes two and sometimes three. I ended up winning 55 dollars in about four spins. I just wasn't feeling it at that point, so I quit, tipping the dealer, and walking out 50 dollars richer (less the 1.5% of my original 50).

Today was the iIsla Routan. It's a long skinny island off the coast of Honduras. Definitely one of these locations that caters to cruise ships. I went and looked at the shops (looked because I wasn't really shopping as such). I then walked over to the beach area. The beach was crowded, packed with beach chairs in neat rows.

I decided to take the flying chair back to the main area. It's the ski lift kind of thing, which doesn't go very high and goes very slowly. It definitely would have been faster to walk, but the walk is mostly uphill and I was already hot and sweaty. Plus it gave me an opportunity to take some pictures. I do have to admit that my non-camera hand had a death grip on the safety rail the entire trip.

I walked through the shops again, and was thoroughly entertained when it started drizzling. People ran for cover and the plaza area was soon deserted except for me. It wasn't even raining that hard! Anyway, I headed back to the ship shortly after that.

I went to the gym for a little bit. I wanted to use the elliptical machine, but I hit my head on the ceiling. The ceiling in the gym is probably 7ft, and the machines mean you stand about 6-9 inches above the floor. I decided that I wasn't going to stoop for the entire workout. Instead I hit the leg machines for a bit. I was pleased that I could max out all the leg machines, although I was sad at how few reps I could do at middle levels.

I went to trivia. It was a bit lame, since there were only 20 questions. I was like 4 minutes late and missed the first five questions! I played with Di who is one of the people at my dinner table. After trivia Di reminded me about the water slides. I had nearly forgotten they were open and headed up to my room to change and try them out.

There are two main water slides “The Twister” and “The Drain” at least I think it was the drain. So the twister is relatively long and basically is just turns, first one way, then the other and then back and then forth. The neat thing was it kept getting faster. The first part didn't seem bad, but then it got faster and faster, till at the end it was kind of hard to keep my head up to watch. Also the amount of spray increased with the speed. The drain was a much simpler concept. Basically it has a single long curve, that drops pretty quickly. You then get shot into a circular section, basically the outside half of a toroid, except with a flat bottom. So you shoot around the drain, and around and around. I made it about 3 times around before coming to a stop, other people would make it once.

After that I had my spa treatment. I tried the algae Ionosomething detoxing. It starts with like a 20 minute sales pitch about the wonders of detoxing and such. The girl left the room so I could change into the panties and shorts. Unfortunately the one-size-fits-all, doesn't fit me. It wasn't even going to be close with the panties. Luckily I was wearing my swin trunks and the procedure could be done in those. So she did measurements at five points on my trunk. Then applied some goo, then some other goo, and then mixed up some more goo which she put electrodes in and then had me lie on it. Then more goo on my stomach and more electrodes. Then the shock therapy started. Afterwards she remeasured and came up with a net loss of 6.5 inches. Although, I am dubious about those numbers, because after lying there undergoing muscle contractions for 50 minutes and with a considerable weight of stuff sitting on my belly, there should be a measurable difference.

I held off from the sales pitch, but did get the BCA, body composition analysis. Basically it is a resistive measurement to estimate the body water content and fat content and lean muscle mass. Turns out I had more lean mass than I thought and less fat to lose. There was another sales pitch as a result of that. I'm still unconvinced, especially given the price tag. Although a part of me does acknowledge that there is something to the idea, because I know how certain things cause me systemic problems.

Anyway, I then went to have lunch, although a 5:00 meal is hardly lunch. Two hot dogs and french-fries. Yummy.

All for now.

Day 5 – 11:45pm

So tonight's entry is taking place on my balcony. Last night after dinner I laidout on the balcony and just looked at the sky. It was rather cloudy, but a couple of stars were peeking through. So it inspired me to come out here tonight to write.

Last night at dinner we were joined by a woman who missed the early seating. She basically didn't say anything the whole time except to explain to me why she was there. She didn't even explain it again when the other people joined us. One person who didn't join us was Ron. He's one of those outgoing folks that really rubs me the wrong way. I did make a mistake at dinner and had the chicken noodle soup. There were a lot of onions in the soup, and although I tried to eat around them, enough were in the mix that I woke up in the night with stomach cramps. I should know better, and it wasn't even that good.

Last night's show was dancing in the streets. It was very entertaining, but I have to say that I've been spoiled by “So You Think You Can Dance”. I'm not saying the cruise ship dancers aren't good, but there was a crispness that was missing, or perhaps it's the degree of difficulty. Although I did see Ron at the show with one of his little friends. I joke about that because he's always talking about this person or that person he knows on the ship.

Anyway, I don't know if it was the food or the spa treatment, or laying out in the night air, but I was exhausted! I slept until almost noon. I just could not seem to get out of bed. Eventually, I did manage it, but by the time I got down to the Lido deck it was lunch time and not dinner time.

I took the tender into Belize... It ended up being a long wait for the tender. We were moved from one line to the other. Then we had to wait for them to disembark. One woman was taking forever to get through the security line. It must have been five minutes, although it felt like ten. I'm not entirely sure why she was having a problem with security, but she was staggering drunk. Which is quite a feat for 12:15 in the morning, especially factoring in a 15 minute tender ride. Anyway, they eventually made us switch lines again, and wait for another tender to disembark before finally letting us on.

Belize was hot and humid. I started getting a headache and my head was swimming a bit. Some of that was undoubtedly from the 11 hours of sleep, and being thrust into such a hot environment. Anyway, I looked around the tourist enclave for a little bit. Basically they have a couple score shops, restaurants and bars inside a little compound surrounded by barb wire fences., or at least walls with barbwire running across the top.

I decided to wander around Belize city for a while, outside of the compound. It turns out Belize city is very poor, very hot, and rather smelly. At least to my way of thinking. They have open storm drains, so there were little bridges crossing from the street to the sidewalk in places. The also have plenty of people looking to act as tour guides or give rides in taxis. One woman was even offering massages. I didn't wander too far, since I didn't want to get lost, but I did see a bit of the town before heading back to the ship.

Once back on the ship, I tried spent some time cooling off. Then I decided to fulfill one of my goals of the cruise, and headed to the gym. The cardio equipment has ipod hookups, so I was actually able to watch some of the movies that I had on my ipod. I watched a bit of Sanjuro and a bit of Stranger than Fiction, as well as some music videos. I spent about 45 minutes total, which isn't enough time to watch all of either movie, but I couldn't concentrate on them too well, so just watched a bit of each.

I then scheduled another spa treatment'. This time it was a massage, foot massage, scalp massage and express facial. They were all okay, but not as good as my previous massage. Of course, I think part of that is there was no repore between me and this masseuse. Also, I was kept waiting for a while, which annoyed me. Apparently they hadn't checked me in at the desk when I went to the thassy hot tub, so I was marked as late. Although, I was actually kept waiting for the other treatments as well.

Anyway, after that, I hit the pool again and the steam room and eventually the shower.

They have a rain forest shower in the spa. So the main shower head is one of those rainfall shower heads (very broad head with relatively low speed water. In addition there are buttons to turn on three sets of sprayers. The first button operates four side sprayers, which are a bit too directional to consider misters. The other two button control misters in the ceiling. The side sprayers and the ceiling misters only shoot cold water, but the fine spray feels excellent. Especially to contrast with the rainfall head.

I relaxed in my room for a bit before heading down to dinner. No special guest this time, and again no Ron. I was actually glad, since, like I said, he rubs me the wrong way. The two women at my table are both older unmarried with no children. They both seem happy though. Anyway, one topic of conversation was pets, which they both have ample of. One of the ladies mentioned that her will (well, he survivors benefits from her previous job) was going partially to the SPCA.

After dinner, I had to go up to my room to get my glasses for the show. It turns out when I got to the theater, my two dining companions were walking in right ahead of me. So I sat with them for the show, and for the roughly thirty minutes before the show. At one point Ron came in with his little crew friend and sat right in front of us. He didn't even notice that we were sitting there. Anyway, I am glad he didn't, for the above stated reasons, but it also provided fodder for a lot of joking around between the rest of us.

The magician was much more a comedian than magician, although he did do some tricks. I have to say that he did an excellent job dealing with some of the improvisation forced by the crowd. I am glad he concentrated on the jokes. His magic was good, but I figured out a couple of the tricks. Although, even though I knew how the tricks worked, I didn't always catch him doing it.

I stopped at the casino on the way back to my room. I placed two pass bets at craps and won both. I wasn't really feeling it so I left.

Anyway, that's about it. I'm going to check out the excursions for tomorrow, maybe lay out for a bit longer and then hit the sack.

Day 6 – 4:01 PM

So I was awoken today by a ship wide announcement, due to weather we were unable to dock at Costa Maya. Apparently the wind was blowing too hard towards shore and the captain couldn'.t safely get the boat docked. Although it sounded like a couple of other boats might have gotten docked but the position of our boats slot caused us to be unable to dock.

Anyway, today has mostly been about relaxing. Although, I found that I am not more relaxed than any other day has been. Actually, I'm a bit restless today. I went to two different trivia events and did surprisingly poorly. Although, it could be that while I know a ton of trivial knowledge, my trivia skills aren't what they could be.

I did go to the gym today, about 40 minutes on the bike. I seem to run out of energy in my legs before my cardio is complete. At least it feels that way. Of course, it felt that way after about 10 minutes, but I pressed on. Anyway, today I watched a bit of Kung Fu Hustle.

I also went to the Thass hot tub. But the ship was rocking so much that about 6 inches of water had sloshed out of the pool. It could have been a bit more than that even, but it was hard to tell because it was shifting back and forth so much. Actually, the pool on deck was closed a good portion of the morning for the same reason. It was actually quite impressive to see the foot or so of water in the bottom of the pool create waves and splash up five feet above deck level.

After each of the trivia rounds I hit the casino briefly. I played a little roulettte first. I won like twenty dollars, but quite after about five spins. The second time through they had the craps table up. I played two rounds worth but quit when this woman started playing. She totally threw off my mojo and was actually a bit rude about her playing. She was throwing the dice before I had a chance to figure out a bet. Throwing them again as soon as they came back to her.

So that's been the day. Not very exciting, I know... So unexciting, I've actually watched a good portion of “The Proposal” on my cabin TV.

Actually, one thing I've been having a problem with on this cruise is remembering to take my medicine. My whole daily routine is thrown so out of whack. At home it would be rare for me to do anything (except laze around the house on a Saturday morning) without first taking a shower. On ship, I'm taking two or three showers a day, but almost never first thing in the morning.

That reminds me of another reason I didn't spend much time in the casino: the smoke. The only craps table is well on the smoking side of the casino. The roulette tables are in the middle, so it is close to being in the smoking area. But the real problem is the whole casino smells of stale smoke. After only a few minutes my shirt smells of stale smoke. Actually, trivia was almost as bad because the only place you can smoke cigars and pipes is right outside of the lounge where the trivia is held. With the doors opening in closing the smoke comes right in. I actually had to use my asthma inhaler because of the smoke.

I also started writing this out on my balcony. I had to come in because smoke from somewhere was coming to my balcony. I wish they would have a smoke-free cruise ship. I wish a lot of places were smoke free. Like a Las Vegas casino, that would be awesome. But I doubt it will happen, since people like to have all their vices, not just some of them.

Day 7 – 11:57 AM

So today is our second consecutive day at sea. I'm feeling a bit restless. It wasn't like I did a lot at any of the ports, but it seemed like the days went faster, and I did more. Of course, more might just have been spending time in the spa...

Last night I had a nightmare. A work related nightmare at that. I dreamed that I was at my old job and my boss was making me throw something together on three days notice in addition to me normal workload. A presentation that involved traveling to boot. I woke up and was so glad to know that I was no longer working there that it almost made the nightmare worthwhile. Almost. I do wonder about the timing, on the last day of the cruise...

Last night Ron joined us again for dinner. He was indeed dining out with his little friend the previous two nights. The two ladies at my table were a bit standoffish with him through dinner, as was I, but I had been for a while anyway. One thing is for certain, I don't want to be at the singles table again.

I had a very good seat for the show last night. I could have had the front row but that seemed a bit excessive. I was on the wings of the stage, but I could see everything clearly, including the far backstage area. The dancers really hustled between times they were on the stage, running as soon as they got offstage to change into their next outfit. I felt much the same about last night's show as the previous show. Perhaps I'm just cynical in my early middle age.

I wandered around for a bit after that. I listened to some music in one of the lounges, and played a little more roulette. Actually, I lingered in one of the lounges, as the singer caught my attention. I am prone to fixations, and just as prone to disappointment. I don't do gradual very well.

Anyway, I saw the dancers from the show making their way somewhere. I never did quite find out where. I they they look much better out of costume than in. Perhaps it's the makeup which makes them look immature and a bit trashy. I also saw the female vocalist, but I didn't recognize her until she had walked past enough that it would have been awkward to say she did a great job in the show.

This morning I hit the spa for a while. I brought a book and read in one of the hot chairs. Although this time I put a towel down so my legs wouldn't scald. I also did the thassy pool, but it was tepid at best, as well as the steam room for a bit. I then rediscovered the relaxation room, and read and drank lemoned water for a bit.

Breakfast was small today. I didn't feel like I had much of an appetite until I was already partway through the line. But then nothing seemed appetizing. It's odd that I can eat the same meal for breakfast for years, but on-board the ship, I'm bored out of my mind. Maybe it's that nothing is quite good enough for me to look forward to having again and again.

At some point today, I'm going to have to pack. Something I'm not really looking forward to. Although I am ready to go home. The thing is, I've been gone long enough that home seems a bit surreal. That often seems to be the case with me. Out of sight, out of mind...